o1o11o

am i doing th right thing? will der be any differences? will you really change? is this ur love? are we gonna last? i don wish to care but me knwing i love you. And wan you with me. And need you in life. Sigh..
I shldnt be like this i guess.
Wish me luck den.


I havent recovered pls handle with care. And changes?? Wait and see.

whispering in to my ears..

i love you.
Im so unsure, shld i be grateful that u are still here or sad that you are here but cant be mine. I hate this kinda feeling, bcos i wanna make you mine but i cant..
Out of a sudden, i called u baby, i hold your hands i cant help but hug you tightly. Am i doing th right thing? I know i cnt be like this. And we cant help but misses each other badly you see.

Trying to hold on.. Hope i wont fall..
You know how much i need you, and im still waitinf for th day..
Its so hard for us not to meet. Bcos i miss you so do you.

I jus feel that what happen last night and these morning jus like when we first got to know each other.. Jus like u pampering me when im being ridiculous.

Imso unsure of everything, i wanna make you mine but for now i cant....
You see, u gotto get back up fast..
A wonderful night with you, chattin till 4am den we knock off. Waking up this morning looking at you smiling at me.. But these wasnt reality..

Hug me to sleep, telling me stories, telling me why u love me, saying stupid stuffs. Making me smile.. Bought my ffravourite food.. Make me eat.
Only you can do all these stuffs and understand what i want.
I will never forget what we said last night, and again' U are welcome.

Pls share with me all your sorrowss..
This dayy, is a v special one. Here im wishing u a happy 8 mth, thou i find us so confusing. So complicating.. But still. Till now my love for you never fade away..

Sorry this is gonna be th lousiest monthsary i guess, as im not here..
Hope u can put ddown all ur past and love me wholeheartly..
I will wait..

Whens th next time i can see you again??
Missingyou. And thanks for still willing to give me th strength to hold on.. Thanks for loving me..
Hugss.

missing you is smth i feel so terribly

i miss you.. so much so much. like i couldnt breathe anymore without you.

I miss you coming to my workplace everyday to see me, i miss you helping me in everyways whenever i need you, i miss you hugging me from behind when i donwan to talk to you. I miss you holding my hands and kiss. I miss you smiling at me, i miss you acompany me throw boxes. I miss you chasing me ard, i miss you plucking eye browns for me , dig my ear, massage my leg till i fall asleep, i missyou siosio my head till i sleep, i miss you talk to me till we both tired, i miss you hugging me crying tgt, i miss you saying sweet talks to me, ii miss you saying how nice im how sweet im how loving im to you, i miss you calling me wife, i miss you lending me ur shoulder and cry loudly, i miss you lookin in to my eyes and tell me everything gonna turn out fine, i miss you tickling me all over i roll and scream ard, i miss all our lil happiness, sweet moments, though its not so wonderful, but everything jus so simple ..

I miss every part of you, i dinnt know missing you was something so hard..
I miss you jumping ard playin dust with me. Hearing ur loud laughin voice. Smiling sweetly for me..

I donnt know i love you this much, i wud miss u this much untill when i lose you..
Even i wan you back, but things still gonna be th same. I rather let u go. And set me free..


So much pain nao.. Im suffocating.. Don leave... Or come back?


Confusion....

digusted with myself

2nd day without you.

After th clock hit 12am midnight will be another anniversary. Happy8month.
or Fucktat8month?

After lookin at what u post, tears are like water tap.. You know we cant hold on.. I wan ur true smile, and not smile to me when ur eyes ur emotion are betraying you. I know you wan to cry out. You are jus tryin to hide ur feelings.. Ur tears..
Its so much more hurtful seeing you this way. Though au are breakin apart inside, but still u wanted to let me smile.. But i cant stop crying breakin down in tears.. Telling you how much i need u in my life. Telling you how much i miss you, but we jus cant get back..

We gotta be stronger now. Without you, im falling, but i have to be brave.. Though i noe im not..

I can never find someone else who can give me th hapines u gave, i noe ur love for me isnt as strong as me..
I hope when u say u will change you will. I hope when u tell me, you don boyher anymore u do..

I hate to live in lies, esp in yours.. Seriously, if wanted me to have u in my life and continue lying. I rather not have you any longer. Bcos i need a truthful, faithful, relatoonship. And not me feeling so insecure here and dere..

Everynight when i reach home, th storm and thunder all came to me, reminds me of where u stand, where are ypu now..
Tearing me apart.
You trying to calm me down, asking me to be a brave girl, but u noe that im not... Without u im not.
I feel disgusted with myself. Im not perfect..
But do u even noe im trying to be th me u wanted me to be??

U noe u cant hold 2 strings..
U cant be selfish.. If u wan me den let go.. If u choosen others, i leave..
Though i nv want to..


I will always be right here. Waiting for you.


Crying so hard till i feel weak all over. Another day with teddy goldfish eyes. Fml fmlfmlfmlfml.

corner of my heart

its hurts me a million going on without you.
jus feel like ending my life like this.
tonight, i need yuu so badly. but i know i couldnt have you back.
no matter how hard itis. i have to control my emotion..
but am breaking down now. esp seeing u in tears & couldnt help to wipe away for yuu.

i need youu so much now.
what can i do.. control pls control..

confusion is driving me crazy so badly..
i jus wish my tears wud dried up one day..
i jus wish i wud be able to feel numb. i hate myself like this.

i feel so lousy, i feel so disgusted with myself. omg. im so disgusting.
u see, i lost all my self esteem. self confident.
i need to stand back up.
i cannot remain this way any further.
get back up ...


i can never forget every moment we hav.
everything keep flashing back.
i got no one here now.
every broken pieces , no one to mend them back.
if only i can, i will run to you and hug u tightly now.
i donwan to go. pls i don wan to go.. i donwan to leave..
but i have too....
u know im not strong.

im not a brave girl .. im not a brave girl at all./
without u im weak freaking weak! :(

i donno how i can do without you now..


can i sleep tonight?
teddy eyes :(

spinning around without you.

its okay, no point talkin abt it anymore. Since everything is over nao. No point debating.
We both have to get up. Be stronger to go on life.. We have muchs things to do still,
Don have to say sorry anymore. thou we both know we need each otther so much now, thou i really feel like running to ur place and hug u tightly, but we cant .. no matter how hard, we are gonna go thru these. Else all th suffer go inn vain. You know, i need ur smile. Don be sad. Don brood abt it anymore. Now, do ur best in everything..

When u think th time is right den come get me.. I won run away i swear im waiting here for you..
Stand up on ur feet. Stop rotting. U need a life..
And settle ur emotions.
If only u really love me i think u will.. Reallly change, for th sake of me.. For th sake of givin me a better life i think if u love me u will do it. If things are still th same den its really pointless..

Ur heart, u have to face it thou..
I have no rights to care anymore now.
I jus hope, u will live happily still without me in ur life.
Pls eat well, rest well, don keep morning den sleep. Not good. Oh ya, and plain water pls. No unhealthy drinks if possible. And rmb not feeling well don keep to yourseelf..

I will never foret every single moment we had..
Deep down inside i will remember... I love you so much..
Im gonna be fine, u trained me stronger.
Im alright. As long as u given me e promise we will get back.. I can wait...

Thou im feeling weak.. So weak.. But i try to be okay. Smiling still.. But crying inside.

Pls be good.. Don let me worry.

I miss you so much. So so much, but ii couldnt do anything.
All th best. Goodluck..

hard to leave, but i have to

everything i do.. remind me of you.
life seems so hard.. like a second with out is dying. is tearing me apartt.
you know how hard it is?

things i promised you, i will still do it.
everything between us.. i will still acomplish.
i will never make u a passerby to me. bcos u are always deep down th one i love most,
even now, everything is gone. im left alone like a empty shell.

still i wan ur return. mayb u will never comes back. mayb u will..
life gonna be real hard..

when im lying on th bed. who is gonna hug me to sleep. who is gonna acompany me talking to curly.
who is gonna chat with me till i knock off. who is gonna sayang me when im sick.
who is gonna takecare of me. what do i live for now?
who is gonna help me throw all th heavy boxes at work. who is gonna help me? who is gonna come & wait till i end work? who is gonna buy koi for me . who is gonna pei me eat dinner.
who is gonna tickle me till i scrream & roll ard. who is th one?

im breaking apart this moment. cant stop crying seriously i cant.

working tmr with tat fuckin poppin eyes.
life still goes on..
no matter how hard it is. still goes on..


for this last time im telling you.
B, I LOVE YOU.
if u found yours . i giv u my blessing.
takecare please. & lead ur life properly., anything pls look for me. .
cheerup. don cry anymore.
never wanna see u hurt...

i love you goodbye

forever. keep in my heart

Set me free