your girlfriend is crazy! HAH

CAN HAU MIN YEE PLEASE SHUT TH F UP!

i have enough of my own fucking nonsense!
i have enough of my stupid hands, eyes, brains!
ohhh fuck it .

YOU KNOW , YES U MUST NOW!
IM A FUCKING UNREASONABLE BITCH!
IM RIDICULOUS~
IM A IDIOT.
IM I KNOW IM (:

i talk without thinkiing.
u hurt me without knowing .

OH, MAYB IM DEAD, IM NUMB.
i hate myself to have feelings.

better or not?

WHATEVER
IM A BITCH!

remember those times

i cannot ask you to come back bcos i don have th right to do so.
but i have to say i need you veryvery much.
i know perhaps i shld'nt need you so much.

...
if you think i hurt you.
den im sorry.
but u're hurting me too.
think again, how did u treat me?
you're good, very good.
you're jus hot & cold.

i cant explaint.


why am i so foolish?
why did i fall in love & fall over & over again.
when i fall, did u hold on to me?
or pulling me down?

early iin th morning,
run as far as i cud.
thoough is raining, & i ran in th rain.
till now, i havent sleep.

i know, others might think iis nt worth for me to do all this. STUFFS.

to me, you're worth.
AM I A JOKE?

do you know, even if u hurt me a million times, i wiill still hold on to you.
no matter what i will hang on.
but you?
why cant u hang on too?

tell me th truth, isit very suffering beiing with me?
without me, you'll be happier?
will u liive much more happier wthout me?
did u regret steping in to mylife?
i need th truth of yours

though its hurts.
but ii need ur answer so much.

how i wish, im dead.
i have a heart that dosen pump.
so i won feel painfull.
how i wish i don have feelings.
bcos i won get hurt.

do you remember those times we'd?
do u rmb how hard we gone thru to get all this ?
do u rmb we gone thru alot together?
do u rmb, we once tried to give up ..
do you rmb i asked u to stay for me?


i will be th way u want me too
if u want me to change i change.
if u donwan me to change i won.
I LISTEN TO WHATEEVER U SAY.
as long as u come back to me.
as long as u stay

i hate to be alone like now!
i donwanna failed in this anymore.


I DUNNO WHAT WILL I BECOME IF II FAILED.!

i show as if im strong enough to take all this up.
but deep iinside im weak.
another push, i might fall anytime.
im not strong. & i donwanna put on a fake me anymore.
can you hold on to me.

i want this to work out.
i change not for your sake!
is for a better in this relationship ok.


loveyoumydear

if this goes on, how long more?

YOU ARE GOOD & IM BAD. OKAY FINE!
STOPPPPP



if im th only one trying will it works?
if i always put th blame on myself will it work?
if i keep tolerating all this will it works?
if i remain silent will it works?
if i cried alone at home when im not happy at all will it works?
if i put on a fake smile will it works?
if i tell myself everything will be better one day will it works?
if i hang on no matter what will it works?
if i act as if nth happen when its hurting me alot will it works?
if i kissed you & say sorry though i think is nt my fault will it works?

will all this works? please tell me!
im trying to be better.
but will it works?
when im trying so hard, & yet you're pulling me down?

do you actually know how unhappy im?
when u're treating me so hot & cold?
i don even know when is th time u're going to smile & say u love me.
& when is th time u're going to give me th imba face.

i live in fear everyday.
afraid you'll give up on me one day !
im trying so hard for u.
even if i fall, i will still try to stand for you.

do you even know how important u stand in my heart?
& why are u still tearin me apart.
i know u're sure unhappy for me to post this.
but i have to tell u,
i dunno what to do other den bloggin.
can i have th fuckin permission to do so?

i admit, im crazily in love with you.
& nvr will i wan u to leave me.
no matter how hard i try, i will hang on.
but will this works?
will i breakdown?

I DONWAN ALL THIS TO HAPPEN.
IS THIS ALL THAT I DESERVE?
i deserve being treated this way?
am i?

i want this to works out.
tell me what else can i do?
if i change, will u climb up on my head?

THIS IS SO SICKENNING.
IM TIRED. SERIOUSLY IM REALLY~!
but i cant let go, no matter what i will hold on.
bcos i cant lose u.

i know crying does'nt works!
when i think of you, CAN U THINK OF ME TOO?

i alr try to be th way u wan me to~!
can u understand me a lil bit more?
perhaps to you, to everyone YOU'RE NOT AT WRONG,
is me who is th kiddish one at fault!

but dont u think u're expecting too much from me?
i have feelings too.
i'll get tired too.
im a human!

DON EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECT!
I CANT !

rants raNTS rants !!!
fuck alllll my rants~

YES FUCK ME~~~
agrh.....


I MIGHT GO CRAZY.....................
if i continue to think all this.

im so afraid nowww .

i remembered those times we jus got to know each other you're not like this..
those times we jus got together you are nt like this.
perhaps to you, im th one changing.
& to me, you are th one.
so how do we solve this?

don expect so much from me please.
im trying ...
bcos of you, im willing to try.


all i need is ur true smile!
ur smile is th strength i need!
is all i need.

IM SORRY .
my fault.


i love you.
goodnight.


mayb im hurting u by posting such fucking post.
& you'r hurting me too.


IM NOT A GOOD GIRLFRIEND!
TELL EVERYONE, IM NOT A GOOD ONE.
TH LOUSIEST YUU EVER HAVE I GUESS.

kept inside

listening to song & post will mayb affect my emotion -.-'
but i like (:

okaey, im working today. shagshag.
meet bb went to plaza ate mac -.-' mission failed aww!!!
slack till 2+ den homed.

tmr pak toh dae (:
laughs.





i shall keep all my negative/sensitive thinking inside me.
neither will i show them out.
trying to control my attitude/emotion.
though is actually hard at first.
but will get used to iit after sometime.
bcos i donwan my emotion to affect urs.
will try to use my laughters to cover it up (:
and as long as i can see u smile, everything is enough for me!

willing to do anything jus for your smile (:
yes bb, you meant alot to me.
im sorry if i still makes u unhappy.
im trying to think abt u everything i do.

at times, i still feel is very hard to control all this emotions.
esp is my feelings inside me.
but i will not show them out to you.

how i wish i can go on a holiday now!!
i donwan to stay here.

wonderings, what my next step?
will i get what i want one day? -.-'

im very very rrrr-andom nowdays.
things flashing thru my mind here & der.
but some are good some are not.
but i won put them to heart.

rahrahrah ~
can see from my post really random.

ermermerm.
HOW I WISH IM A MILLIONAIRE. ~
den i can go worldwide with bb.
can buy b alotalot thing. can romantic,
can candlelight ddinner. when i nvr had before!
FAILURE HOR.
hhahaha.


digging out all my long lost dearie girlfriends.
i miss em lotlot.

want to meet my ex whw girlssss.
but some seems so busy with thier life alrr.
everyone facing each of thier probsss.
:(

and i know michelle lee miss me!
she dying to meet me.
know why? bcos i stay same blk wth her.
dunnid run farfar!
lol.



K LAH BYE.
trying to get a new job.
(:


I LOVE YOU MY DEAR BB!
MISSSSSSEDDD.
huggies, sayang uuu.
muackkkkss

no more negativee

suprise bb at her hus today. I hope she is happy. And i wan bb to be happy.. I try my best to be th way you want me to. I meet kay today for lunch, pool and some catch up. Lovess'' my jam hsiao concert cancelled, i give my tickets to someone else due to some probs. Yes another big cry today in th morning. And hav swollen eyes for th day. Aww. 3time for th month of march. No good ok.. We shld think positive, and not being so nega... Went to find my girls at night. And havee fun.. they are really my happy pills. Weewee. Seriiusly i don like it when bb drink too muhc. I don like when she vomit all this. Will very xin ku de. I donwan bb to spoil her body. No good no good. I hope whatt u do u can actually think of me. Always love you. Im not angry. But disappointed, bcos u prpmised u wonn. Night. Missyou dear.. Huggiesssss