digusted with myself

2nd day without you.

After th clock hit 12am midnight will be another anniversary. Happy8month.
or Fucktat8month?

After lookin at what u post, tears are like water tap.. You know we cant hold on.. I wan ur true smile, and not smile to me when ur eyes ur emotion are betraying you. I know you wan to cry out. You are jus tryin to hide ur feelings.. Ur tears..
Its so much more hurtful seeing you this way. Though au are breakin apart inside, but still u wanted to let me smile.. But i cant stop crying breakin down in tears.. Telling you how much i need u in my life. Telling you how much i miss you, but we jus cant get back..

We gotta be stronger now. Without you, im falling, but i have to be brave.. Though i noe im not..

I can never find someone else who can give me th hapines u gave, i noe ur love for me isnt as strong as me..
I hope when u say u will change you will. I hope when u tell me, you don boyher anymore u do..

I hate to live in lies, esp in yours.. Seriously, if wanted me to have u in my life and continue lying. I rather not have you any longer. Bcos i need a truthful, faithful, relatoonship. And not me feeling so insecure here and dere..

Everynight when i reach home, th storm and thunder all came to me, reminds me of where u stand, where are ypu now..
Tearing me apart.
You trying to calm me down, asking me to be a brave girl, but u noe that im not... Without u im not.
I feel disgusted with myself. Im not perfect..
But do u even noe im trying to be th me u wanted me to be??

U noe u cant hold 2 strings..
U cant be selfish.. If u wan me den let go.. If u choosen others, i leave..
Though i nv want to..


I will always be right here. Waiting for you.


Crying so hard till i feel weak all over. Another day with teddy goldfish eyes. Fml fmlfmlfmlfml.