i thought you wud b dere.

as i wasn't feeling well nowadays.
many things happened to me lately.

& im so fucking mad at my dad,
with alots of probs.

yes, im so tiredd.
as i alr said, everything is really pulling me down!
all i hope for is, i tot bb wud b dere cheering me up.
stay wit me as long as she can.
bcos i really need her badly, bcos she's my happy pie.
but at th end of th day, she leaves.
throwing me alone, running far away.
telling myself not to cry anymore.
telling myself to get over it.
tolerating everything alone.
facing probs alone .
when bb is not dere for me.
not lending me a shoulder to lean on.
esp i really need her at this point of time.

this is hurting.
& is veryyyy .
i donno do you care.
i donno will you feel sorry.
i donno are you still mad at me.

i admit, moodswings coming nowadays.
all i hope, is you to understand.

i thought you wud be th one wiping away my tears,
holdin on my hands, telling me not to cry.
treating me like your precious bibi.
but end of th day, i still rmb;
i kissed you on your cheek
& kissed goodbye you, i hug you.
saying byebye , but you?
NO REACTION, you' nvr want to kissed me back.
hug me & everything.

at that point of time, im dying inside.
but i can put on a smile bcos i donwan to get you worried.
i cant take it anylonger.
i ran away....

end of th day, i walked back home alone..
with th same fucking path, we've walked together bfore.
thinking back, why m i alone?

its alr been veryvery long since i walked home alone like this.
& i determind to walk back alone.
many things flask thru my mind.
i want you so badly in my life.
But why? din'nt u notice th way you treated me is really hurtful?
did u notice, you're not showering me with all your little love anymore?
& THAT IS TH TIME WHEN I NEED YOU MOST.
when everything i pulling me down, WHY DIN YOU PULL ME UP?
why did u pull me down again?

im not crying.
i donwant to cry,
i find it so pointless.

i want to cry out loud, like no tmr!
but you're not dere for me.


this is hurting me alot.
thankyou !