if this goes on, how long more?

YOU ARE GOOD & IM BAD. OKAY FINE!
STOPPPPP



if im th only one trying will it works?
if i always put th blame on myself will it work?
if i keep tolerating all this will it works?
if i remain silent will it works?
if i cried alone at home when im not happy at all will it works?
if i put on a fake smile will it works?
if i tell myself everything will be better one day will it works?
if i hang on no matter what will it works?
if i act as if nth happen when its hurting me alot will it works?
if i kissed you & say sorry though i think is nt my fault will it works?

will all this works? please tell me!
im trying to be better.
but will it works?
when im trying so hard, & yet you're pulling me down?

do you actually know how unhappy im?
when u're treating me so hot & cold?
i don even know when is th time u're going to smile & say u love me.
& when is th time u're going to give me th imba face.

i live in fear everyday.
afraid you'll give up on me one day !
im trying so hard for u.
even if i fall, i will still try to stand for you.

do you even know how important u stand in my heart?
& why are u still tearin me apart.
i know u're sure unhappy for me to post this.
but i have to tell u,
i dunno what to do other den bloggin.
can i have th fuckin permission to do so?

i admit, im crazily in love with you.
& nvr will i wan u to leave me.
no matter how hard i try, i will hang on.
but will this works?
will i breakdown?

I DONWAN ALL THIS TO HAPPEN.
IS THIS ALL THAT I DESERVE?
i deserve being treated this way?
am i?

i want this to works out.
tell me what else can i do?
if i change, will u climb up on my head?

THIS IS SO SICKENNING.
IM TIRED. SERIOUSLY IM REALLY~!
but i cant let go, no matter what i will hold on.
bcos i cant lose u.

i know crying does'nt works!
when i think of you, CAN U THINK OF ME TOO?

i alr try to be th way u wan me to~!
can u understand me a lil bit more?
perhaps to you, to everyone YOU'RE NOT AT WRONG,
is me who is th kiddish one at fault!

but dont u think u're expecting too much from me?
i have feelings too.
i'll get tired too.
im a human!

DON EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECT!
I CANT !

rants raNTS rants !!!
fuck alllll my rants~

YES FUCK ME~~~
agrh.....


I MIGHT GO CRAZY.....................
if i continue to think all this.

im so afraid nowww .

i remembered those times we jus got to know each other you're not like this..
those times we jus got together you are nt like this.
perhaps to you, im th one changing.
& to me, you are th one.
so how do we solve this?

don expect so much from me please.
im trying ...
bcos of you, im willing to try.


all i need is ur true smile!
ur smile is th strength i need!
is all i need.

IM SORRY .
my fault.


i love you.
goodnight.


mayb im hurting u by posting such fucking post.
& you'r hurting me too.


IM NOT A GOOD GIRLFRIEND!
TELL EVERYONE, IM NOT A GOOD ONE.
TH LOUSIEST YUU EVER HAVE I GUESS.