when love.

We dwell on the past, while living the present
But I admit, the past was unpleasant
Full of ups and downs, less pleasure more pain
We wished for the sun, but only got rain
We both made mistakes, put pain in our hearts
But here we are again, promising to never part
Counting our blessings and letting go of the past
Starting all over and making it last
Feelings and memories flow deep in my mind
Of those days our love was genuine and kind
Holding you close, feeling your skin
You look into my eyes and make my head spin
Those feelings are back, but stronger than ever
I know you're the one I wanna hold on to forever
We both smile again, nothing's better than this
Kissing you again was like our second first kiss.

when we love

days passes so quicky, with jus an blink of eye is comin 2011 already~

christmas is coming too! xchanged gift session! LOVEIT.

seriously speaking 2010 sucks hell! not only family, financial problem and job all screw up only.

everything also not shun li.

hoping for a better year and a better future.

in life theres still many things to learn.

so we got to make this beautiful.

for people whom don really know me have no rights to comment abt me or my life.

or th way i treat people. bcos i dontknow u as well.

jus freaking fuck off frm this world will do!

1yr anni is reaching real soon too!

many things to rush naoz.

i need to work !!!!

january will be my new start!

so now fuck all th obtacles, i will not die with all these.

childish people can wake up and get a life nao.

i know i couldnt give u anything,

but only my heart and my love.

and people around me.

whats mine can be yours!

so, don expect anni present cos i couldnt afford.

but ur bday, i will never let u disappoint.

this shall be th best of all if i can.

like how u given me,

i would try to find all those money!

ahhh fuck~ need to work harder!

JANUARY NO MC, NO LEAVE, NTG!!!!

JYJY~

i love you .

will never stop loving you, till i ran out of breathe.

you're always my everything.

but i'll start making u my option. if that is what u want.

goodnight.

haters, _|_

NO LIFE~

i'll never be th same

i don exist in this world, im in th other. nobody bother to ask me about life.

so what is life?

so what if i can feel my heartbeat, i rather leave it dead.

nobody listens to me,

nobody wan to know how i feel inside..

am i right or wrong?

i try not to bother about u, but it always hurt me so.

that i cant leave my hands off you. but do you know .

i don think so.

i always tell myself its okay, everything would be fine..

but i feel sourish in my heart and cant control but teared again and again.

i rather don love you this much. i rather don need you. but i cant.

i wan to make myself numb, i donwan to feel anything.

u always go opposite of th way i wan it to be.

when i wan this, u wan that..

do u know, what i wan?

u said, we could say out how we feel inside, but when i say , can u even accept or take it?

isit fair for me ?

im jus a ordinary girl that wants to be loved like everyone else.

but it seems so hard..

being wanted is smth wonderful, but i don feel that im being wanted or needed.

why?

what did i get back with all my sacrifice?

im tired.

i donwan to describe how worst i feel.

nobody would know.. th truth of me, th truth of everything.

smiles and laughters are not real..

i don mind if ppl ard are hating me,

bcos they got no life!

i stay in my own world, that no one know i exist.

this is me..

perhaps acting stronger on th outside is what people wanna see.

i'll try. but deepdown, nobody knows.. untill i breakdown.

goodbye

when i step back pls don step forward anymore, im falling.

help me up..

i jus wan to be loved, but i dontknow how to make somebody love me

im useless.

call me bitch! i'll say ty~ cos u're slut

make me a christmas tree

christmas is coming, i wan a chrstmas tree diy by you. lol!

so fast time flies, i met you more den a year already!

and soon is going to be our one yr ann already. like donno how to describe this kinda feeling.

to me, u are important.. u are everything.

but i know to you its a different thing, mayb slowly used to how u treat me already.

can be good at tmes, can be cold to me at times.

but its okay.

thinking back, memories of th past one year seems like 10 years.

like so manyy many things happen ..

've got all sort of feelings.

sad, hurt, disappointed, fallng apart, given up. happy, excted, suprise, sweet.

whatever it is, u given me alot. i learnt alot' and grown up alot from you.

i love th way we re, i love th way you care (fiercely), i love th way ur unglam can be, i love th way u nao pian niu, like xiao hai zi, i love th way u disturb and suan me at night, love everyway of yyouu..

but not when u say, ur feeling had fade, im afraid of that.. so much, lke i really dontknow how to make a person love me back.

i hope i pray, pls don fade, pls don go.

i want us to be like this till th end. i don care who or what try to break us apart. i don care my parents or so.

i jus want to be with you.

is like 3 months staying tgt time like flies, i donwan u to go. i donwan u to go.. but still u got to go.

i know.,, u will go one day..my tough day is coming to me.. soon!

jus hope when u move back home thing gonna remain th same, and ur old mistake will not repeat..

and i dont wan to built trust for u and u crush it all urself.

u know, i cannot take it anymore.

for now, im learning to be stronger, to control feelings, to put u aside, to built my own life, to love less work more.

& i jus donwan to love, i want to be loved! can i? yea, i know is impossible.

i jus want you to rmb, i exist when im gone,

i want you to rmb me in ur head forever.

i love you most, nobody else can do.

i wan you to know, i can sacrifice everything for you.

i wan you to know, u are th key to my heart.

i wan you to know, without u im an empty shell.

i wan you to know, i alr tried my best to give what i can.

i already love u with no regrets..

i give u alll and everything.

true love? is this th one? i think this is.

if this rs ever to failed, i think i will nv love again...

i think i need to clmb up all over again. i have already plan my future with u.

i wan our future.

we don ned anybody..

true love only come once, for mine you're th one.

for you, im th one who is gonna help u forget ur past..

this is overall how i feel...

i would hold and conquer th world jus for you.

but, sometmes, i feel tat nobody thnk of how i feel when they do things.

bcos sometime when i become silent, u better stop th topic.

same goes to me!

yayaya screwed up life.

my face cui know?!

sighhhhhhh..

this is th most lousy new year ever.

i don think i can afford to buy new year clothes even.

like fuck... minyee stop shoppingggg.

im not a lady,women,girl anymore!

i have stop pampering myself.! whoohoo. is this awesome?

life should be amazing with love around, we got to make this life amazing with no regrets okay!

we have to learn to fly one day.... i will fly, to th skies and touch th stars.

i will dream of u everynight and lets go to our fantasy.

don wake me up still...

i love you, so much....

i guessed u shld noe how much it is rgiht.

even if th world ends,, as long as i have u, im not afraid!

goodnight ppl

MY DAY~

HAPPYYY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

apprecieate all those wishes from people & friends!

fuck all those unhappy stuffs and awaiting for a new year to come (:

goodluck!

got ntg to blog actually..

but many to rant, but jus don feel like ranting now~

oh ya, im gonna set my blog private soon yea~

i will only allow ppl tat understand me enter my life.

so th rest, is jus shits to me.

i'll be my real self. i cant be bother if ppl go ard gossip abt me.

bcos they are jus being a bitch!

im happy with my own life and friends ard me!

hoping to enjoy tmr.

but zi dong yi dian, donwan see things that will bu shuang one jiu can le.

fml? fyl!

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE

wanna fly away~

back to blog.

envy ppl that can go overseas as and when they like..

i wanted to go too.. but cashtight.

many things changed...

wants to go back to kidsss life.. so carefree.

&not like now. everything is attacking me.

birthday is reaching real soon.. wonder what will they be giving me.

maybe to you all my expectation is high..

but i want suprise! make me tears if u all can! haha

but to you, my wish is always so hard to reach..

u'll never rch, bcos u cant.

is so simple. my wish is so simple..

jus want you to ......................................

i noe no matter what i say is useless already.. my words are dead.

its ntg to you.

seems to talk less, is not that i wanted to talk less.

is i really have ntg to talk anymore. is like, whatever i speak out of my mouth we'll quarrel.

& u see, u dont see th point why im saying.

or can say, whenever i step back u step forward.

now, i don even wanna move forward or back.

i dont even know what to do.. den u'll be contented.

im seriously not happy even thou my bday is comin.

u know i want ntg from you..

i really seriously. even when im crying, u won get to see or know.

sometimes, i really want to be alone.

want to be cruel den do it all th way. make me dead.

& not pull me alive and kill me immediately.

i have feelings.. i donno how u feel what u thinkin. u don share.

i start to guess. & all my thots are killing me badly..

bcos u dont share.. tell me how?

so confused... u driving me so crazy..

i wanna let love die.

i wanna stop burning.

i wanna stop th heart beating ..

i wanna tear this apart.

....

i want to hold.

i want this to last.

i wan u to rmb me.

i want my heart to pump faster when ur lips get nearer~

i wan ur love. so badly so badly..

i want ur hugs. & u to stay by my side forever.

& you

push me away, telling me forever is ntg~

pull me out of my fantasy

wake me up from my dreams.

stab me & leave me wounded so badly..

reject me time & time .

lying to me over & over again.

even if now u are with me, ur heart dont belong here.

...??????

randomly.. u wud be nice to be.

& evertime when u hurt me, i wud tell myself its ok..

u wud be nice to me one day!

one day we wud be wonderful..

i waited .. waited.. for almost a year,

hhiiiiii, im still here!

perhaps u indeed became better.. but sorry,

u did it jus for awhile.

i dontknow isit bcos of th love isnt for me.

or this is ur best.

but i can tell you, i aint happy.

this year, is th first year i have cried so many times.

cried so terribly..

tired year.. sick year, problematic year. love sucks year. family cb year. money not enough year.

likke everything jus so cb ~

k im sick of it.\

take me to ur side and dote me or jus throw me aside.

simple and easy.

i dont wnna move anymore~

im not happy im not happy!

i donwan bday! i hate bday!

i wanna make friends first!

& u to be second~

bcos i know when i lose u. i have friends.

go fuck th world.!

minyee stand up. wake up! get a life~

don rely. don need . donn used to.

jus love. simple love.

don cry for ppl that isnt worth ur tears any more.

ong lay ping!!

first time go so far must take care okay!

hope u enjoyyyy! if can online, we can chat okay!

these few day going to be boring without u one!

^& for sure we will miss u okay~

& also must miss me hor. don saddd le la. is nt as if u won come back right.

jus go andd enjoy ur holiday trip! don think of unhappy stuff hor!

i envy uuu lor. i wan go also cant~

nextyme we save money we plan go farfar tgt lor! hahha~

takecare hor!

lovelove

bye~

nobody know i cry myself to sleep everynight!

nobody know i feel so cold inside my heart!

nobody know im an empty shell.

nobody know our love is broken