ie feel hurt . th pain ish dere !

haish . tell mmie wad m ie suppose tuu do ? we're driftingg apart . ie've nort been hearingg his voice for the past 2 days , ie've been missingg him . all ie want ish jus tuu hear his voice , pei mmie tok xin shi . ie'm feeling so xin ku now (: ` im so tiredd . im real real tired . wad shld ie do ? shld ie act as nth had happen & continue tuu tok tuu him ? tell mme ? whye mush ue scold mie ? care bout mmie ? whye ? ie wanna suffer dhats mye prob . im tiredd of cryingg . wad dha point of being so sad ? he dun even care wad ! wads the point ? whye mush ie b so tuupid ? cos of him ie cry , cos of him ie cut myeself , ie drink , ie ate medicine , ie smoke , everything ish COS OF HIM ! whyeee ? can ie jus stop all thish nonsense ' ie told myeself . don cry , bud tears kip rolling down . whye ? ie hab so many quest tuu ask him , bud how can ie saE ? he's makingg mie suffer . makingg mmie feel lyke dying . wadd tuu ddo ? ie'm really tiredd , tiredd of beingg so xin ku , missingg him so & so much , jus tuu hear his voice & its so hard . whye ? jus tell mmie how ue feel , whye mush ue act lyke ue dunno anythinng , budd actually ue noe . whye ? jus tell mie straight , dun hab tuu care how ie feel . ie feel so hurt . so & so hurt . beri hurt . ish lyke im going tuu die if ie go on lyke this . he jus don understandd . ie quess ie must stop thish , ie should
nt b so tupid ! lovingg him really make mmie suffer . 9 mths .& im jus wasting mye tyme . does he wants tuu continue wasting mye tyme ? haish ' ish lyke wad ever ie do also wrong . whye mush ue control mmie ? hu do ue love ? the pain ish there . ish really theerr . ie carn take it anymore . breakingg down soon . im nort an robot . im a human , ie hab feelings tuu ! haish ' suan ler '
ib one dae both of ue goes tuugether .
ie gibe ue mye blessingg (:
as long as ue;re happy .
i'am !

ie don mindd .
ielovesyou .
so much ' ie jus carn count how much ie love ue ;
ie'm missingg ue boi !
ie miss you so much '
ie wanna nth bud tuu hear ue toking .
its so hardd .
bbyee .

MINYEE ''

ITS SO HURT .
imcrying & yet hedunno '
sadness iin mmie .
ie think of you `

imdoingnth
bud ; thinkingofyou!

IE HATE TUU SEE THE WAE IM NOW ~ !
STOP RUNNING AWAE .
FACEEE IT ! TELL MMIE ' HOW UE FEEL !
UE'RE KILLING MIE .
STOP IT CAN YOU !

darrenNGzhensheng .
ieloveyou so muchh

ieloveshim ; ie do ie do ie do !

mm . ish she refering tuu mmie ? so wad ib ie really likes darren ? huh ? ' there's nth wrong wibe dhat alryte ! haish ' shld ie bk out ? . ie dunno wad tuu do ! if darren really goes wibe her ie won noe wad will ie do . mayb anyting ' mayb everything . or tuu continue kippin quiet . haish ' im fan ! so fan ' so ie continued acting stupid ? acting blur ? acting lyke ie dunno anythin ? shld ie ? ie noe ALL ! budd jus wanted tuu kip quiet ! ie dun wann him tu get fan ! haish ' ie really hates it when he gibe mmie those hope ' ish lyke he loves mmie . budd does he ? or he's jus sayingg ? wad shld ie doo ? ie habb reallyy gort lorts ob question tuu ask him ! budd ie jus dunno ! really dunno ' haishhh ' even ib ie ask him . will he ans ? huh ? he will shure kip quiet wan ! he shure will hab nth tuu tok bk ! haish ' ie think ie shl'nt core or tok tuu him . budd wad ib he core mmie ? wadd tuu do ? he jus don understandd mmie ' waddd ever ie doo also mye fault ! don gibbing mmie care & concern ! stopp tellling mmie wadd tuu do ! STOP IT CAN YOU ? its all mye prob , ie wanna cut myeself , smk more , drink more & its all mye prob . don ue caree ! haish '' im fan really fan , it been 9 mths ' haish ' tiredd . reall real tired . stop gibing mmie hope !
yar yarh ! ie love him . ie really love . ie loves dhat idiot can ! is loving him jus wrong ?
tell mmie wadd can ie do !?

MINYEE ''.
ieloveshim .
&yesh . ie loves .
mrBAICHI (:
dhat boneless man !

he's dhat bigg bullyy .
pinchh till ie blueblackk !
im gonna hit yoor headd =x '

ie dunno how tuu describe
how ie feel now !

fcukk off ib ue don lyke '
lovinggg a person ish nort wrongggg !
so ; boi . im sorry

boi ; tell mmie hu ue loves ?

erms . was fun ytdd & sports dae tuu (: . err , orn sports dae ie was playing wibe him all e while ! he thish badd boyy , box mye headd ' hahah . dhen bu xiao xin pinch tilll his hand gort blood . ie bad lurh . hahaa . erms . dhen playy till finish sports dae jiu went off ' was his b'dae orn dhat dae (: so at night carn get e chance tuu tok orn fone longg . at nite he core mmie go his b'dae threre . budd ie din . cush dunn dare . gort erlort ppl dere . haishh ' whye he ask mmie go instead ob his gf ? whyee ? & ytdd morningg meet queeny , jonathan & yijie went tuu escape, b4 dhat ' we meet at queeny hus dwnstairs , den saw him , went tuu mit his gf . mm , ie jiu don ddare go over' jus pass him his prezzie & go awaee . haish ' was fan at that moment . dunno hu & wad he wan ! haiss' dhen was fun lurh ' ie at escape playy all e games till no voice cann ! screammm & screamm ! hahah ' im scaredd lurhh ' dhen went tuu eat at compass ' was fun ytd lorhh ' mm . dhen when reach home was waiting fher his core . bud think he won core mmie ler ): dhen jiu msg him , he jiu core mmie ' dhen tok orn fone . when his fwen was aroundd ' dhen he sent his fwen home . after dhat he ask his fwen tuu core mmie & conferece . dhen ' tok & tok he jiu put dwn sae his bro wanna use e fone , dhen sae will core bbk ' bud in e end also neber core bbk wan ! haish ' ieve waitedd till 6+ ' & wawas darm tireddd . cush ob himm ! dhen one of his fwen put dwn e fone . left mmie & one fwen ' den ie sae eberithing out ' feel much better ' he ask his fwen : she wrote sho muchh in e paper ' budd hu ish she refering tuu ? ."" dhen his fwen sae : ish you luhh "" dhen he kept quiet , wad does this mean ? huhh ? hu does he loves . & ytd nite REHTSE when tuu findd him ' haish . they meet up ' haish . den SHE kip askin HIM tuu send HER homeee ' haishhhhh . whyeee ? HE told mmie HE don loves HER ' budd things don look lyke thishh . wadd ib they goes togther . ie noe im nrot dhat preetyy . nort dhat perfect ' dhats whye he won gonna chose mmie ' haish ' she only waited for onlie how longg , bud wad bout mmie ? 9 mths ! cush ob him . things changedd ' haishhhh ' its hurt . huer tuu see dhat ' she pass him his present ' shld ie bk out ? m ie lose ? haishhh ' telll mmioeeeee ` how can ie do w/out him ? how can ? ie feel so weak now ' he hasen been auto nowadaes . ie donno whye . izit cus of her ? she the6y goes tugether . ie carn do anything , jus tuu gibe him mye bllessingg & wait fher him . dhats all ie can do ! ie feel so hurt now ' so dam fcukingg hurt ' ish lyke im dyingg . he jus won understandd' lovingg ue jus makes mmie sufferrrr . ie hates & ie really hates .
think shall stop here ler '
ytdd nite , HEY GUY '
thanks fer letting mmie sae out all those things & let mmie feel better .
thanks lots . ie finally understanddd '
budd im jus afraiddddd .
BYEE .

MINYEE ''
ielovesWHITE .
boi ; ie donno wadd tuu do .
ue sae ue'll b mye listener
& a shoulder tuu lean on .
buddd was that jus SAYING ?
haishhhh '

GUDBBYEE .
ie shall go '
& ie mush .
its tiredd . really tiredd
tuu continuedddd .

ie hab no strengthhh !
holddd mmie titeee .
im weakkkk `

killmmie '
torturemmie .
makes mmie suffer..

sumtymes , ie rather act lyke ie dunno anything
rather dhen ie noes . cush its jus hurttt ! ): ie cries

happie b'dae boii ! ILU ' budd im sorryy

hhmm . his b'dae cuming in less dhen half an hourr (: mm ' hope ue will accept mye gifts ! errrs ' budd dunno how tuu gibe ue lurhh (: haishh . hopee ue will lyke it bahs (: ' & ue sae ue wan swit der marh ' so buy for ue swit wibe other thing lorhh ! hahah ' was fun todae lurhh ' ytdd tuu (: went tuu his hus both todae & ytd =) ' plae comp there ' budd todae more funn =x ' hahah . ie hit till his headd . yeahhh` budd he kipp knockin mye head narh ' painn cann ! BAICHI lurh him ! bud at least he's gud tuu let mmie hit bk =x ' heee . dhen he wear helmet summore ! hahah ' wad a idiott he ishhh ! mmm ' dhen ie take his things & hit him ! PINCHH him tuu (: ahaha . think ie dun dare hit him =x ' heee . budd fun lurh ' dhen tuupidd queeny they all gu yi make mie & him alone in e room . dhen he playin o2 jam so ie at there makin tuupid noises '' hahaha .. so paiseh lurh ' dhey kip sayin bout myee uglyy thinggg . grr ' make mie paiseh can ! haaa . ie saw HER blogg ' think she's nort gonna lett go ! bud wad suld ie do ? bk out ? mm . ie carnn ' jus carn let go ! its been 9 mths '' haishh . waiitng waiiting & all ie'm doing ish waiting . budd at least he show mie care & concern lurh ' haish , ie feel beri guilthy noww ' ie guess it was mmie hu ish e one hu wrote in his science bbk ' & now his GF saw those things . dhen break up ! bud dunno got patch nort' im worriedd that he'll b ignoring mmie ): haish . bblame it all orn mye fcukin handd ! haishhh ' ie dunno luhh ' ie've been sayin sorry lots & lots ob tyme lerrr ! err ' wadd shld ie ddo ? ish all bcoz ob mie or wadd ? haish ' till now he only core mie once ! haish ; wish wish he can core mie on 12.00 ! bud think carn ler ' cush he've tuu pei his gf ! haishhhh ' guess its all misundrstood bah . his gf will understandd derr ' anywae stop here lerrr ''

HAPPIEEE B'DAEE BOIII !
& THANKS FHER EBERITHINGG !
yeps yeps . tmr ish sports dae , ie've a bad feeling dhat sumthingg will goes wrong tmr. cushh SHE's will b there & think theyy're in dha same hus ! HAISH ' im worrieddd cann .

MINYEEE ''
IEHATESHERRR '
REHTSE !!!!!

boii ; im sorryyy !
ielovesyou '
& iereally doo !

ENJOY YOOR DAE (:
iemisshim lots ''
im tirreddd .

in e mess =x '' wadd cann ie do ?

mm . sat & sun both fun ! nort thinkin ob those tuupid things & smile all e waee ! mmm ' ytd went out wibe michelle ` went tuu PS dhen tu hougang mall ! we rr'e madd can ! LOL '' ie went tuu buy present budd dunno wadd tuu buyy ! den went tuu lots ob shoppp ' & mye legg painn cann ! mye shoes make mye leg dam hurt ! mye toes luhh ' haaa . dhenn bout 8.30+ went tuu hougang mall hab our dinnerr ' after dhat went tuu buy her bagg & shop shop ' dhen go pasa malam buyy food ' kip eatin luhhh ' tot ob takin neos budd iits bout 1o.3o ler summore also close liaos =x ' haaa . dhen went tuu walk walk & tok tok ! went home jiu bout 12.oo ler =) ' err . now ish 12.00+ ler so counted as mondae ' tmr gort common test carn be late luhhh ' iib nort jialat ler =x ' haha . sundae went tuu great world watchh movie ' e movie dam bored cann ? haaa ' bout all those tuupid happyness wannn ~ dhen after dhat still quite early sho went tuu east coast plae roller bladee ' budd sho tuupidd leis ' ie wear sho nice ' looks lyke shoppin those kind der , still go beachh ! beri weird cann ! hahaha; plaee till so fast =x ' ie almost fall (: dhen michelle kip screamin der ' hao wo scared dao =x ' hahaha ` dhen went tuu hab our dinner dhere ' so full luhrr ' reach home lerr jiu send michelle home boutt 11+ ler ' he jiu core mmie ' haish ' tok awhilee ! mmm ' jus saw HER bloggg '' haishhhh . ie saw eberithingg ' how ? wad can ie do ? when ie saw those things feel hurt insideee ' its realy beri painfull ! loving hiim ishh dam tiring can ? ie really dunwan muchh ' jus tuu love him dhats all ! budd whye SHE habb tuu make sho much things betweenn us ? in e mess luhh ' ie really wanna let go ' bud can ie ? wad can ie do ? haish ' she wrote dhat he sae he loves her ? ish that real ? he realli loves her ? stopp hurtin mmie can you ? im goingg maddd ' ie jus carn imagine mye lyfe w/out ue ! will dhat still b mmie ? its been 8 months + ! ie've waitied long enough ! LONG ENOUGH DHEN HER ALRYTEEEE ! haishhhh '
ie admit ' she's really pretty ' nicer dhen mmie ! budd jus lyke thish she can caught his heart ? dhen wad bout mmie ? being left behind ? hurr ? im sorryyy ` err ' ie reallyy dunno wadd shld ie do ! haishh ' lovingg him jus make myeself sufferrr ! im afraid when loves slowly bcums hates alryete '' & he cored mmie jus now again ! whyee he can alwaes act normallyy infront ob mmie ? think im tuupid ? ie dunno anything ? im nort alryte ! whyeee ? whye ue mush core mmie ? gibe mie those concern & care ! wadd does it means ? qor & mei ? or ? whye ue kip gibin mie those hopeee ' how many girls ue wan ? how manyy girls ue wanna tok tuu eveynite ? HOW MANYY ? stopp lyingg tuu mmie ' jus tell mmie wadd ue thinkk '' ie reallyyyy dunnooo ! hAiishhhhh '' ie habb enuffff ! ib she disappear , lyfe will be much more better ryte ! whye mus she appear ? huh ? budd ie hab nth tuu do ler ` ie alreadie done sho much ' ibb he realy goes wibe her jus wanna let him noe , ib he will b happpy being wwibe her ' ie wish them everlastingg ' sorry boi ' jus now ie dun mean tuu sae those things tuu ue ! mm ' nort ie dunwan ue tuu core mmie ' ie was jus angry so ie said those thingss ' & ie jus wanna noe wadd ue 'ree thinkinnn !
haishhhh ' ie jus carn descriibee dha pain in mmie !
e numbness + tuupidd / foolishh things will make mmie feel betterr !
ue'll noe wad will ie do !
& ue won understandd how ie feel der =) '
donn core mmie ib ue dunwan tuu !
PLEASEE '
ie wann ue tuu b happiiee ''
& nort being so fann alwaes !
CAN YOU >?
& IE TRUELY LOVE UE !
update soon '
byeee '


MINYEEEE ''
all cuts orn mmie (:
letmmiedie '''
letitbleedddss '

BLOODSSDRIPPP ''
TEARSDRIPPP ''
iereallylovehim ; IE DDO !
ie hate tuu sae GUDBYE '
so dunn force mmie tuu sae that alwaes cann ?

YOUJUSDONUNDERSTANDDD '
IECRIEDDD '

myeHEART
ishhBLEEDINNN
alldhawaeee !

BYEEEE '
iewillgo .

don care bout'' mmie can you ! let mmie b alonee lurhs !

erms . its been a few daes ie've neber update ler 'thish few daes fan can ? haish ' ie also dunno wad im thinkin luh ' ytd ish kor kor der b'dae ' dhen ytd after skool went tuu future park ' dhen slacl there ' drink beer wibe straw ! LOL' dhen ate medicine bout 5 tablets bahs ' mm . dhen take cig from mye di ! err . dhen share wibe queeny ! dhen go play till gong gong ' after dhat went tuu wait fher yi jie lorh ' dhen wen yi jie cum ler jiu took 1 cig from him dhen go blkk smk myeself ! den alone go take bus . mmm . todae rainin ; dhen plae wibe dha rain till all wet ! haaa ' fun can ? mm . dhen wan find cig bud nobody hab leis ' haha . mm . jie sae nxt week jiu cann get cig ler ' we share ! LOL ' HAHA . ie promise ie carn get addict can ? ie shure control der ' mmm . dhen ytd gort pe ' teacher caught mmie cuttin mye hand dhen send mie tu cousellin ' haha . sot wan ! mmm . dhen sae ie carn cut & pierce anymore ' siao wan ! LOL ' loves drinkin cann ? haishh ' ie wanna numb myeselff ! make myeself suffer & torture ' finally im sickk ! haha ; weeee . ie wanna b sick can ? hate myeself dhats simple ! heee' dhen jus now in class ' HAISH ' ie reallie dunno whye xXx alwaes go tok tuu him wan ! ish lyke gu yi wan lorh ; haish ' dunno shuld trust xXx nort ! haish; fan luh ' dun ask mmie whye im fan ! cush even ie tell you ler ue also carn ans mye quest ryte boi ? haish ' ie also dunno wad ue wan can ? haish ' ue found yoor own haappiness & wad else ue wan ? huh ? ue wanna see mmie torturing myeself ? & pls stop carin bout mye problem ' ie wanna drink beer dhats mye prb , ie wanna eat medicine & dhats also mye prob ' ie wanna smk also mye prob '' dun ue care ! & gibe mmie those hope can ? ie hates luhs ' unless ue tell mmie wadd ue treat mmie as first ! cann >? im tiredd ob waiting ! yoor b'dae cumin ler wad shuld ie do ? haishh . haishhh '' ie dunnoo luhhhhh ` stopp treatin mmie as yoor toys yoor puppet ! ie hate tuu listen tu ue can ? dun tell mie wad tu do ! ie hab mye own waee ! haiiiis ; tell mmie ib ue dun care . dun gibe mmie dhat kind ob concern can ?
suann lerr '
errs ; ie stop here ler can !
no mood writingg'
update soon luh .
byes .

MINYEE ''
im JEALOUS cann ?
ie hates those BITCHH !

stopp lyinn tuu mmie !
dhat mye probb .!
ie wanna SUFFER & TORTURE !

uue donn careee !
ie dunniidd yuu tuu care luhh !

GO AWAEEEEEE !
wadd a TUUPID MISTAKE IE'VE MADEEEE ! =(