understand me

I WANNA GO FOR A GETAWAY!!!

bring me out of here, farfar away.
who would be my saviour.



left with one month plus...
im going to resign sooon. thou i act like nothing.
but im human too, i have feelings..
had been working here since jan18;2011.
has been a yr plus, and we are like one big family.
this is th first time im workingg in a company that i have sooo many colleagues.
and its really so heart warming sometimes how ppl care for u, buy food for you. share to you, complaint to you. cry to you..
we've always been complaining.. but still we love th people here.
probaly not all but most of them..

frankly speaking, really bu she de.
but i have no choice, i have to think abt my future. i have to get a better job paid.
i cannot stuck here forevr.
but for sure; i won miss that VIETNAMbitch~

gonna tender my letter end of this month..
am going to another company again and STILL, im th youngest..
seriously lor i donno why,
when i was 15-16 i work outside and i was th youngest among all, okay la i cn understand cos i was really young, nd den i was 18-19 i work outside, again im th youngest.

and now tat im going 21 im still th youngest.!!!!
roar~~
okay thats good and bad for being th youngest; first is everybody v sayang u. sec is always got ppl bully u.
zzzz



):
mixed feelings inside me...




if i love u , u love me. den hold me till th end k.




; as for ppl , i lose hope...
be it or not be it. not my prob..


i wanna change for a better life.

growing up is part of my life

we're all grown ups now, and by th time i guess you can actually see who is true and who is not.
for those that is not true just let go...

not worth..

suppose to chnge job de, but think again ; if i go work outside, will i be as happy as now?

i guess everything will be different in a new enviroment as i don wan this to be happen.

maybe after my taipei trip ?

let me consider first...

i dont like to change enviroment like seriously!!

i hope everyday there's no quarrel, no communication break down. no fights.

i hope we have peace everyday <3

i need somebody, to talk to..... to pour to.

i need you to be understanding.. understand me without me speaking!

<3

&&

MAKE NEW FRIENDS!!!!

i want to singgggg k!

lovelovelovelove; but b always don sing ):

goodnight; heading to sleep now.

if you love me find th key to my heart.

dont wish for something that will never happen.

people come and go and i no longer feel anything about it.
if you're true you'll stay..

so how am i this few months? weeks?

life hav been th same, work eat home sleep.
without money i cant do anything..
hoping to go taipei on august. finding more kaki if ppossible.

finally i update my blog, i will update more often if i can.

trying to forget those unhappy moments in life and remember those wonderful ones..
cherish your loves one before its gone.
bcos you'll never know what'll happen next.


i hope i can get a mini getaway ard apr? other wise i work till aug den fly comfirm i'll die......~~


i dont know to use my lappy chnge chinese word leh. wtf?~ stupid




goodnight, bebbye



out of billions of people in this world,
isnt easy to get someone you loved and th pperson loved you back,
if you dont go for th one you love, will you regret for th rest of your life?
i've been thinking this almost everyday...
if i love someone, i should hold em and not let em slip away...
but if you love someone and let thm go, will you be able to forget them?


sometimes is not aabout love, sometimes you don understand me enough..
sometimes i need some space to breathe.


whatever i do, do my best. whoever i choose dont regret....





;
time flies, im 21st this year...
still havent think of what life would be in few yrs down th road.

this yr keep going drink, good or bad?
i guess life have been easier for me ever since i moved out. i meant as in i save more money now den before , and buy more things now then before.


ask me; am i happy now?
:: i couldnt give you my answer... half part of me being happy, but another part nope.
im a human being, i have feelings. for everything... understand me.






breathing in and out. k zzzzzz

always in my heart <3

we live

i want a better future!

i dont understand why im so afraid to trust u back.
why do u have to crush me down again and again.

now i need to build all over again....
please dont pull me down again!
its not easy...


my heart is too small to fit.

i still cant overcome th fear in me. i dont know how to face u. or believe u.
i hate myself .... for loving u again n again..
how i wish my heart is dead.

please.... let me have peace ..

getting higher ;party like a rock star babe!

i went to sentosa for tanning today! k the sun was hot enough and luckily it din rain! happy max!!!
im like burnt now but like it`~

k bored, everyday work work work! end work go home eat sleep work work work!~
everyday same de! damn shag!

always $$$ not enough! damnmylife.
how i wish i can go back school life, no stress de.!
not like now, need pay tis and that! :(

i will try not to let my blog rot kay~ sometime damn lazy to update!!

;;

im going back sk liao, hungryhungry!

byebye






love ; is the key to my heart!
forever in ur heart.


dance dance dance *

when tears make someone stronger

Things had.changed so.much from e past till.now,been thru real different stuffs. And yet still back to squareone. What does all this mean??


Life hasnt been.good during September, and hope October is a new start.

Situation really make human grow up. And im really glad i became stronger each time i fall.



Life.is just so amazing that miracles and impossible stuff always happen. What we have to.do, face it accept.it. FUCK.it ((:

when you find ...

I think of you all the time,
Could something happen to me... We have been searching for love
Everyone deserve to have i guess.. Nor its a good or bad one we hav to accept it.

If someday, what would you do ..
God, i have many random thoughts and its like running wild..
I DONT want history to.happened again, so what else ...
Could love jus stay here and not run ..

有些话我永远都说不出口，对不起。。

你一直在我心里。我的灵魂以经走了，快把我找回来，我不想离开你。
都怪我，好笨好笨。
你要勇敢哦!!
有些东方一直留在我心里就够了。










我爱你。。。你呢?
我好想离开这里哦!!!

happy birthday to you.

happy 22nd xingyu! All th best in everything you do. (:



I know i cant give you what you want, i know i cant be compared to her, when she leaves you , you are much more worst den now when i leave ya. So how much i can see, im still not that impt. U still can live without me.

Sorry tat i given u this lousy bday.
And now i know. U have ntg to blog abt us this few days, u have ntg to talk abt me. U made me feel that im not th one anymore and that makes me confused. Perhaps.......

Who did put on effort who didnot i can see.

For people that dont think without saying. Just don need u to appear in my life to give me anymore trouble.

Just fuck everthing.

when you say love, do you really know what it is?

lets th picture do th talk ..

i feel that, im staying in my own world.. im living in one corner when no one is gonna see or find me anymore.

that weird feelings inside me, i dislike it. and its tearing me apart. jus wanted to cry them out.

i need somebody here tonight.

there's nobody ...

life has been changing slowly, i dont like th changes, but isit good or bad?

its about you or me?

whats wrong with this life? im so sick of it.

i got to achieve what i've promised.

dying inside...

when its time to... den do it.

i would sacrifice my time, my life for you.

meaningless ..

goodnight. :(

im feeling random. ima sorry.

treat me well and gently, for now im fragile.

handle with care.

goodbye

i need motivation !!!!

2010 YEAR!

2007 YEAR

SADDDDDD LAA! im gonna buck up!! i need my last time figure back! really!!!!!! JIAYOU HAU MIN YEEEEEEE!!!

SLIM DOWN PLEASE :(

If i know what love is, it was because of you..

A life lived in love will never be dull.

when we are still unclear which path are we walking towards to...

don't think, just go do whatever you want, just go ahead and be happy is what we're looking for.

because when there is love, there's no question.

When the world feels like it's on your shoulder, look at the person next to you and see what they are going through. Don't take life for granted. Love the one that loves you, because sometimes we don't get a second chance.

life hasn't been really good without a job nao. :(

when i say buck up, i don't see myself bucking up! awwww.

but now, seriously i gonna buck th fuck up yeah~

else how to save for bangkok you tell me?!

firstly, i needdddddd a job badly!!!

secondly, i wanna try and physco my dad see whether i can get money from him for new year clothes, else really wear newspaper liao! im already pathetic enough for not shopping for 1 yr plus already. pls understanding abit lemme buy luh!?

thirdly, i need money to prepare for somebody birthday party.

fourthly, i need money again for her bomb birthday present.

fifthly, start to save for bangkok!

i also don't know enough time anot. like wtf seriously!

shagggggggggg :(

till now, i still don't know whats new year clothes themes this year.

casual? lady like? insanity? or what? LOL.

aiya, mixedd bah, how i wish im tall enough for a maxi. :(

i seriously need to adjust my bodyclock, and now birds are chipping skies are blue, im still not asleep yet. gosh.

cmi cmi really cmi liaoz.

heading to my room soon.

gooooodmorning cum night!

In the end, it's still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for what is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love rather than settle for the one who is around. It's still best to wait for the right person, because life is too short to waste on the wrong one.

Darkness isn't the absence of light... it's the absence of you.

define th word love.

It's a long road when you face the world alone, when no one reaches out a hand for you to hold. You can find love if you search within your soul, and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

A change is good for me, for I must learn now how to live. With you I've spent many nights, and can no longer survive without your touch. I need to learn now how to live for myself each day, and when I learn the biggest task, I can finally call myself independent.

i could not help myself anymore, let nature take it course and i'm tired, i just need sometime to be myself, to love myself more.

there's no other words to describe how i feel now. we're on different places. different world, different mind.

i tried to control these. but it couldn't work on it anymore.

define the word love for me. i want to know what's love to you.

How can I forget you when your always on my mind? How can I not want you when your all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart?

i could remember every word you said, because it hurts me deeply inside and smiling outside.

and i will never forget all the times we once had.

th best thing that you've gave, is MEMORIES.

nothing good will happen to me, ever since...

i know i know, its alright! i'm going to be okay.

because, i deserve it.

i know one day, someone will see me.

one day, god will return all back to me.

is fair, everyone deserve happiness.

no matter good or bad, i will be happy.

i would not let anyone affect me anymore.

take it or leave it.

just don't hold to something that leads you to misery.

if you think i'am . ...

i can only say, i have never love somebody so hard before.

i have never do all these before.

i don't want to be friends..

i want to have a future.

please don't let me fall.. thankyou.

i love you

&& everything was wrong..

Never cry over somebody who would not cry over you

we cannot keep this on

let go of your past, go on to your future, this is life and what we are born to be like. no point still misses th person, so what if he or she still think or needs you? Whats past is past. Dont bother to brood abt it! Jus move on.
Its 2o11 and i still feel like 2o1o cos things still sucks like hell. I hope things would change eventually one day, till people actually notice me, or need me in thier life. As for now, i dont wan anything, but to earn money. And stay with my friends.
Time flies, its been one yr alr, but our rs still always unstable and im so tired of it, our attitude and character jus cant matched. Maybe someday , somehow people will change for me, for th sake of happiness within..

Love? Do we even understand love?
Being tgt we have to stand by each other, knwing thier weakness and tolerate with them, and built them up. Are we doing This? Do we understand love?
I seriously hate to miss somebody when th person don seems to wanna meet me. It sucks like hell seriously..
Th worst part is when im feelin so sourish and hurt inside, i mus act as if i don care kinda attitude, i don like it so much.
People actually dont understand me that well as it seems,
Thinking that im childish?
so wads th big fuck? Have u ever seen me talking things out in a mature way, i do. But v rare, bcos i wana be a happy girl and not somebody who always look so serious in everything. AiNt thier life so boringgggg?

Talj? If u are unhappy jus talk.. Don think jus talk.
This is me, i don like using my brain, so ima stupid person..
I think stupid sounds cute! Don you? Lol.
I don care about others but you. Do u noe? U dont..

Always thinking that when i say this, i really meant it. Cant you see whats th meaning behind all these anger? One day, one day when i don get angry or care, something will be wrong very wrong.
Want th day to come??

What a girls wan? Haha, good question..
I can answer it out, but not tday. Im ysing my fone to blog. And my hand is tired. Hahaha



Goodnight.
Not meeting for more den 48hrs i think.
Cool or wad?
Miss you like dog.
But nvm its okay, im going thru it.
This is life, accept it denn.

Byebyeee, hand suan suan le.
Tday like mo shui only...


I read books!

new year eve!

I thought love was just a mirage of the mind,
it's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find.
But the day I met you, I began to see,
that love is real, and exists in me.

hooohoo, today is th last day of 2010!!

lets countdown to 2011.

HOPING FOR A BETTER YEAR! and a new start for everybody!

2010sucks hell! andd a new year, a brand new start!

good luck!

& one yr anni with me and bb is coming!

looking forward.

so fast, alr one yr.. going thru all ups and downs together. and here we're still holding on.

thou sometimes we intend to have diff thinking and debating. but overall i do love you and try to go according to th way u wanted it to be.

HAPPY ONE YR ANNIVERSARY IN ADVANCE BABY!

I LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS (:

steamboat tmr with my gfriends & bb <3

seriously no job cum no money.

gonna get a stable job and go for further studies maybe end of next yr.

or 2012?

have to save money first!

money is everything, first bb bday stuufff second start to save for BANGKOK~~~

den studyyyyyy private!

REALLYYYY WANT TO go childcare teach lil babies.

hahahah! patience patience~

new year new revolution!

JIAYOU BAH EVERYONE!

& for bb, better get ur ass up and jyjy too!

support youuuu <3>

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

when love.

We dwell on the past, while living the present
But I admit, the past was unpleasant
Full of ups and downs, less pleasure more pain
We wished for the sun, but only got rain
We both made mistakes, put pain in our hearts
But here we are again, promising to never part
Counting our blessings and letting go of the past
Starting all over and making it last
Feelings and memories flow deep in my mind
Of those days our love was genuine and kind
Holding you close, feeling your skin
You look into my eyes and make my head spin
Those feelings are back, but stronger than ever
I know you're the one I wanna hold on to forever
We both smile again, nothing's better than this
Kissing you again was like our second first kiss.

when we love

days passes so quicky, with jus an blink of eye is comin 2011 already~

christmas is coming too! xchanged gift session! LOVEIT.

seriously speaking 2010 sucks hell! not only family, financial problem and job all screw up only.

everything also not shun li.

hoping for a better year and a better future.

in life theres still many things to learn.

so we got to make this beautiful.

for people whom don really know me have no rights to comment abt me or my life.

or th way i treat people. bcos i dontknow u as well.

jus freaking fuck off frm this world will do!

1yr anni is reaching real soon too!

many things to rush naoz.

i need to work !!!!

january will be my new start!

so now fuck all th obtacles, i will not die with all these.

childish people can wake up and get a life nao.

i know i couldnt give u anything,

but only my heart and my love.

and people around me.

whats mine can be yours!

so, don expect anni present cos i couldnt afford.

but ur bday, i will never let u disappoint.

this shall be th best of all if i can.

like how u given me,

i would try to find all those money!

ahhh fuck~ need to work harder!

JANUARY NO MC, NO LEAVE, NTG!!!!

JYJY~

i love you .

will never stop loving you, till i ran out of breathe.

you're always my everything.

but i'll start making u my option. if that is what u want.

goodnight.

haters, _|_

NO LIFE~

i'll never be th same

i don exist in this world, im in th other. nobody bother to ask me about life.

so what is life?

so what if i can feel my heartbeat, i rather leave it dead.

nobody listens to me,

nobody wan to know how i feel inside..

am i right or wrong?

i try not to bother about u, but it always hurt me so.

that i cant leave my hands off you. but do you know .

i don think so.

i always tell myself its okay, everything would be fine..

but i feel sourish in my heart and cant control but teared again and again.

i rather don love you this much. i rather don need you. but i cant.

i wan to make myself numb, i donwan to feel anything.

u always go opposite of th way i wan it to be.

when i wan this, u wan that..

do u know, what i wan?

u said, we could say out how we feel inside, but when i say , can u even accept or take it?

isit fair for me ?

im jus a ordinary girl that wants to be loved like everyone else.

but it seems so hard..

being wanted is smth wonderful, but i don feel that im being wanted or needed.

why?

what did i get back with all my sacrifice?

im tired.

i donwan to describe how worst i feel.

nobody would know.. th truth of me, th truth of everything.

smiles and laughters are not real..

i don mind if ppl ard are hating me,

bcos they got no life!

i stay in my own world, that no one know i exist.

this is me..

perhaps acting stronger on th outside is what people wanna see.

i'll try. but deepdown, nobody knows.. untill i breakdown.

goodbye

when i step back pls don step forward anymore, im falling.

help me up..

i jus wan to be loved, but i dontknow how to make somebody love me

im useless.

call me bitch! i'll say ty~ cos u're slut

make me a christmas tree

christmas is coming, i wan a chrstmas tree diy by you. lol!

so fast time flies, i met you more den a year already!

and soon is going to be our one yr ann already. like donno how to describe this kinda feeling.

to me, u are important.. u are everything.

but i know to you its a different thing, mayb slowly used to how u treat me already.

can be good at tmes, can be cold to me at times.

but its okay.

thinking back, memories of th past one year seems like 10 years.

like so manyy many things happen ..

've got all sort of feelings.

sad, hurt, disappointed, fallng apart, given up. happy, excted, suprise, sweet.

whatever it is, u given me alot. i learnt alot' and grown up alot from you.

i love th way we re, i love th way you care (fiercely), i love th way ur unglam can be, i love th way u nao pian niu, like xiao hai zi, i love th way u disturb and suan me at night, love everyway of yyouu..

but not when u say, ur feeling had fade, im afraid of that.. so much, lke i really dontknow how to make a person love me back.

i hope i pray, pls don fade, pls don go.

i want us to be like this till th end. i don care who or what try to break us apart. i don care my parents or so.

i jus want to be with you.

is like 3 months staying tgt time like flies, i donwan u to go. i donwan u to go.. but still u got to go.

i know.,, u will go one day..my tough day is coming to me.. soon!

jus hope when u move back home thing gonna remain th same, and ur old mistake will not repeat..

and i dont wan to built trust for u and u crush it all urself.

u know, i cannot take it anymore.

for now, im learning to be stronger, to control feelings, to put u aside, to built my own life, to love less work more.

& i jus donwan to love, i want to be loved! can i? yea, i know is impossible.

i jus want you to rmb, i exist when im gone,

i want you to rmb me in ur head forever.

i love you most, nobody else can do.

i wan you to know, i can sacrifice everything for you.

i wan you to know, u are th key to my heart.

i wan you to know, without u im an empty shell.

i wan you to know, i alr tried my best to give what i can.

i already love u with no regrets..

i give u alll and everything.

true love? is this th one? i think this is.

if this rs ever to failed, i think i will nv love again...

i think i need to clmb up all over again. i have already plan my future with u.

i wan our future.

we don ned anybody..

true love only come once, for mine you're th one.

for you, im th one who is gonna help u forget ur past..

this is overall how i feel...

i would hold and conquer th world jus for you.

but, sometmes, i feel tat nobody thnk of how i feel when they do things.

bcos sometime when i become silent, u better stop th topic.

same goes to me!

yayaya screwed up life.

my face cui know?!

sighhhhhhh..

this is th most lousy new year ever.

i don think i can afford to buy new year clothes even.

like fuck... minyee stop shoppingggg.

im not a lady,women,girl anymore!

i have stop pampering myself.! whoohoo. is this awesome?

life should be amazing with love around, we got to make this life amazing with no regrets okay!

we have to learn to fly one day.... i will fly, to th skies and touch th stars.

i will dream of u everynight and lets go to our fantasy.

don wake me up still...

i love you, so much....

i guessed u shld noe how much it is rgiht.

even if th world ends,, as long as i have u, im not afraid!

goodnight ppl

MY DAY~

HAPPYYY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

apprecieate all those wishes from people & friends!

fuck all those unhappy stuffs and awaiting for a new year to come (:

goodluck!

got ntg to blog actually..

but many to rant, but jus don feel like ranting now~

oh ya, im gonna set my blog private soon yea~

i will only allow ppl tat understand me enter my life.

so th rest, is jus shits to me.

i'll be my real self. i cant be bother if ppl go ard gossip abt me.

bcos they are jus being a bitch!

im happy with my own life and friends ard me!

hoping to enjoy tmr.

but zi dong yi dian, donwan see things that will bu shuang one jiu can le.

fml? fyl!

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE

wanna fly away~

back to blog.

envy ppl that can go overseas as and when they like..

i wanted to go too.. but cashtight.

many things changed...

wants to go back to kidsss life.. so carefree.

&not like now. everything is attacking me.

birthday is reaching real soon.. wonder what will they be giving me.

maybe to you all my expectation is high..

but i want suprise! make me tears if u all can! haha

but to you, my wish is always so hard to reach..

u'll never rch, bcos u cant.

is so simple. my wish is so simple..

jus want you to ......................................

i noe no matter what i say is useless already.. my words are dead.

its ntg to you.

seems to talk less, is not that i wanted to talk less.

is i really have ntg to talk anymore. is like, whatever i speak out of my mouth we'll quarrel.

& u see, u dont see th point why im saying.

or can say, whenever i step back u step forward.

now, i don even wanna move forward or back.

i dont even know what to do.. den u'll be contented.

im seriously not happy even thou my bday is comin.

u know i want ntg from you..

i really seriously. even when im crying, u won get to see or know.

sometimes, i really want to be alone.

want to be cruel den do it all th way. make me dead.

& not pull me alive and kill me immediately.

i have feelings.. i donno how u feel what u thinkin. u don share.

i start to guess. & all my thots are killing me badly..

bcos u dont share.. tell me how?

so confused... u driving me so crazy..

i wanna let love die.

i wanna stop burning.

i wanna stop th heart beating ..

i wanna tear this apart.

....

i want to hold.

i want this to last.

i wan u to rmb me.

i want my heart to pump faster when ur lips get nearer~

i wan ur love. so badly so badly..

i want ur hugs. & u to stay by my side forever.

& you

push me away, telling me forever is ntg~

pull me out of my fantasy

wake me up from my dreams.

stab me & leave me wounded so badly..

reject me time & time .

lying to me over & over again.

even if now u are with me, ur heart dont belong here.

...??????

randomly.. u wud be nice to be.

& evertime when u hurt me, i wud tell myself its ok..

u wud be nice to me one day!

one day we wud be wonderful..

i waited .. waited.. for almost a year,

hhiiiiii, im still here!

perhaps u indeed became better.. but sorry,

u did it jus for awhile.

i dontknow isit bcos of th love isnt for me.

or this is ur best.

but i can tell you, i aint happy.

this year, is th first year i have cried so many times.

cried so terribly..

tired year.. sick year, problematic year. love sucks year. family cb year. money not enough year.

likke everything jus so cb ~

k im sick of it.\

take me to ur side and dote me or jus throw me aside.

simple and easy.

i dont wnna move anymore~

im not happy im not happy!

i donwan bday! i hate bday!

i wanna make friends first!

& u to be second~

bcos i know when i lose u. i have friends.

go fuck th world.!

minyee stand up. wake up! get a life~

don rely. don need . donn used to.

jus love. simple love.

don cry for ppl that isnt worth ur tears any more.

ong lay ping!!

first time go so far must take care okay!

hope u enjoyyyy! if can online, we can chat okay!

these few day going to be boring without u one!

^& for sure we will miss u okay~

& also must miss me hor. don saddd le la. is nt as if u won come back right.

jus go andd enjoy ur holiday trip! don think of unhappy stuff hor!

i envy uuu lor. i wan go also cant~

nextyme we save money we plan go farfar tgt lor! hahha~

takecare hor!

lovelove

bye~

nobody know i cry myself to sleep everynight!

nobody know i feel so cold inside my heart!

nobody know im an empty shell.

nobody know our love is broken